a day ago
It's last orders for the onboard bar. Flying is no fun any more
Flying used to go something like this. Turn up at the airport, perhaps slurp a cheeky beer at Gatwick's Red Lion before you board. Switch your smartphone to flight mode, knowing you have a few hours' reprieve to watch something brain-dead like Mission: Impossible without being pestered. Listen intently for the rattle of the in-flight trolley, which still has the ability to reduce me to a panting Pavlovian dog (just me?). And if I'm flying in premium, a discreet slope off to the onboard bar once the seatbelt sign has been switched off.
This long-conditioned ritual at 37,000ft skidded to a halt this month. Virgin Atlantic — our 'fun' airline to the more sensible British Airways — said it would axe its beloved bars by 2028; the space will instead be used for more premium seating called 'retreat suites'. It also said it would introduce free Starlink wi-fi across its fleet by the end of 2027.
Blame sober Gen Z obsessed with wellness, blame squeezed airline margins, blame our hyperconnected world. I'm dismayed — and thirsty.
I have fond, and squiffy, memories of in-flight bars. One of the most ridiculous flights I've been on was — no surprise — a Virgin service to New York for 2019's World Pride, staffed entirely by LGBT crew. The DJ Jodie Harsh took over the bar on the Airbus A330 and we passengers, giddy on gin miniatures and mini pretzels, jumped around to Spice Up Your Life somewhere over Newfoundland. It's hard to imagine that kind of stunt today.
Other times it's more prosaic. These extra social spaces — installed on all Virgin aircraft at great expense — are an escape valve from your seat, particularly if you're flying long haul. That there are gin and tonics and delicious little bags of crisps and sweets on tap is neither here nor there. 'We have loved the bar, but we have a new vision for social spaces: the retreat suites, the private space built for sharing and socialising,' Virgin Atlantic said. Meh.
Onboard bars still do exist, but increasingly limply. The Gulfies, including Emirates, Qatar Airways and Etihad, all offer social spaces only on their monstrous Airbus A380s, but on the few times I've sneaked in they have been pin-drop quiet. When I flew on the weird Global Airlines inaugural flight in May — the founder's aim being to take the airline back to the golden age of flying — I spent a lot of it propping up the SkyPub on the upper deck of the A380. Qantas's A350 aircraft, which it uses for ultra-long-haul flights from London to Australia, instead have a 'wellbeing zone' for stretching and hydrating … and not the fun kind.
The advent of free onboard wi-fi is a further dent to the in-flight experience, forcing us to stay connected to the ground. Lots of airlines, like British Airways, offer free wi-fi to their premium passengers and members of their loyalty schemes. Others, like JetBlue and Air New Zealand, offer it to everyone, regardless of cabin. Other carriers are trialling streaming entertainment straight to your phone — which I guess is fine and perfectly logical. But, but, but. I spend my life looking at my phone — is it too much to ask to stare at a slightly bigger screen to watch some mindless guff for a few hours? The sky is the last sanctuary we have.
Rhys Jones, aviation editor of the frequent-flyer website Head for Points, agrees that 'it's a shame to see the bar go'. He adds: 'It was part of what set Virgin Atlantic apart. Without it, Virgin will lose a little bit of its sparkle. That said, I understand why it has made this decision: attitudes have changed and competition has become cut-throat. Increasingly we are seeing airlines maximise every square foot of space on board planes and, unfortunately, the bar just simply didn't pay its way.'
I think I speak for a lot of frequent flyers when I say: one for the road?
